Fix You
by michelleKF
Summary: It's funny how life quickly changes. One day you're happy, and then everything falls apart. You're turned into another person and you're alone, left in pieces, hoping that someone could fix you.
1. Memories

Title: _Fix You._  
By: _michelleKF_  
Rated: _M, for strong themes.  
_

A/N: Ok so this is my first story, and I'm kind of nervous because there are so many _amaaaaaazing_ fanfictions in here that I sort of.. feel the pressure(?) It's not so good yet, and actually I still have to find the point of the whole situation.. if you guys have suggestions I would absolutely appreciate them (and love you :3)  
So, this story will be a mixture of present facts and flashbacks, and there will be a lot of angst.. because I_ llllove_ it. The fact is that I already have writer's block and this sucks because I wrote just the first chapter, and I still don't know where I want this story to go, and blah blah blah- **Ok stop it.**

_PS_: I'm Italian, and despite my very good marks in English, I'll make mistakes, oh yeah. Especially with the tenses and the speech, so please,_ excuse me if you read something non-fucking-sense_**.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act One: Memories**.

_All those wishes, all those hopes, all those promises._

_His lovely, perfect smile, and the cute way his eyes narrowed when he laughed._

_All the tight bear-hugs that couldn't let him breathe properly. _

_His kisses, _God_, his kisses. His soft lips, his fresh-mint breath, his limber tongue._

_All the fast and pounding heartbeats and the quick shivers caused by his touch._

_His dick, dammit, why couldn't he stop thinking about his dick? He had never been _that_ kind of guy._

Suddenly his thoughts converged on that day.. though thinking about it was like a twinge in the heart and a punch in the stomach for him. He took a deep breath while the images and the memories took involuntarily place in his head. "_Fuck"_, he thought. The truth was just that he could not fight them back. He was sitting in his room, staring outside the window, expressionless, heavy circles surrounding his icy blue eyes. Days, _weeks_ had passed since the last time he had slept for more than 4 hours, and even his concealer couldn't hide the livid signs anymore, so he gave up and accepted the fact that he would look like crap.. on the other side, he didn't have to impress anyone anymore, did he? The only reason why he always cared to look the best was _him._

He let the painful memories run through his mind. The first time they made "_love"_, actually penetrating themselves, it felt so right. Even though it hurt, like fucking hell, after he got used to the feeling he felt the rush of pleasure starting to grow from his feet, shaking his stomach and pulsing in his head. He felt strange, filled and so.. _complete_. He remembered the words of his father: don't throw yourself away. _"I didn't, dad",_ he thought. He felt proud of himself, well, in that little part of his brain which wasn't completely fogged by passion. He came, crying _his _name out loud through moans and pants, suddenly feeling so weak and tired for the overload of pleasure. It took a few minutes for him to catch his breath again, he was exhausted, but so happy and relieved, he had always thought the worse for his first time. He turned his head to the boy next to him, who was still breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. He was so _beautiful._ His curls had escaped the cage of gel and now they were messed up on his forehead. How could he look so natural and still so charming? The other boy turned his head to the window, on the other side from where the younger and no-more-virgin boy laid. After a few seconds he sighed and turned back, shifting his body so that he was lying on his side and facing him. He smiled gently, and then he put his right hand on the younger boy porcelain-face, stroking his cheek in a caring and comforting way. He knew it was the first time for him so he wanted him to feel, you know.. _safe_. Blue eyes met the hazel-green ones. Everything seemed so perfect. His mind was still foggy, and his rationality had fallen to pieces since they threw themselves onto the bed, so, almost unconsciously Kurt cupped the left cheek of Blaine with one hand, resting the other one on the curly boy's slightly hairy chest, and whispered the three words, eight letters sentence: _"I love you"._

* * *

Blaine was lying on his bed, trying to relax, but that would've been really hard for him, 'cause he was obviously not alone in his dorm-room. On the other side of the room were his best friends Wes and David, playing "COD: Black Ops". Wes was sitting crossed-legs on the floor, eyes staring at the TV screen, not even blinking, while David was simply sitting on the desk chair with a huge grin, probably killing somebody in that virtual life. They were all but silent, they were yelling and offending each other, and the noise of the joysticks buttons pressed continuously at a nerves-crashing pace was driving Blaine insane. He was trying to keep himself calm and to not kill his fellows. He loved them after all and so did Jeff, so he couldn't kill them, or the blonde boy would have killed him after that, and probably would commit suicide afterwards. _No_, killing his buddies was not a good idea.

Thee four guys formed a united group, even though Wes and David were juniors, while Jeff and Blaine were only sophomores. They were Warblers, so they always spent a lot of time together, for rehearsal, and they also shared some classes, so they started hangin' out together a few months ago, and then became what they were now: _best friends_. The kind of friends that you can always count on, with whom you share everything, even the darkest secrets, and that would love you and protect you even if you had done the biggest bullshit in the world. Blaine was gay and they had accepted it from the first moment. Blaine and Wes were roommates, David and Jeff were not, but it was like the four lived together, considering all the time they spent in Wes and Blaine's room. _Then Kurt came_, and Blaine took him under his wing, like some kind of protector or tutor (well, that's what he said). Kurt immediately became part of the group, everybody liked him, they treated him like a little brother since he was the new kid, the new Warbler's countertenor and _Blaine's new crush._ All the guys realized that in something like 2 seconds, while they were singing "Teenage Dream" and well, Blaine was actually singing it to Kurt (even if he still had never admit it). And Blaine was _Kurt's new crush_, something that they understood in even less time, while he was watching and listening to Blaine it was like he had LOVE printed on his forehead in capitals letters and heart-shaped eyes. But still Blaine wanted to be the fucking dapper one, so he took things slow. _Freaking slow, actually. _Anyway, after a month of two and a lot of encouragement from Jeff, Wes and David, Blaine did his move.. and then of course Kurt was the happiest person alive. They were all lovey-dovey, but then suddenly..

"Fuck you Dav', you're not going to kill me!" growled Wes, completely focused on the game.

"Yes I am, and you're going too" - he pushed a button, threw the joystick on the bed and jumped off the seat, - "DIEEEEE!" screamed David, jumping around with fists in the air like a boxer who just won a match, and obviously starting his "victory dance". Oh. God.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!"shouted Wes, pushing his head in his hands, and then David threw himself upon him.

"Kiss my ass, Wesley!" - said David, putting his bottom in front of his friend's face.

"Hell, never!" - screamed Wesley, pushing David away from him.. and then they started wrestling.

"_8 years old_"- thought Blaine, frustrated - "I swear, if they ask me to arbitrate, I'll completely lose my mind".. and so they obviously did.

"Dammit Blaine, count down, I've got him!" said David, holding Wes down to the floor.

"Oh my God guys, would you please _stop_?_" _snapped Blaine, standing up from his bed and throwing his arm in the air, staring at his friends with that creepy gaze that he always does when he freaks out.

"Hey man, calm down!" - muttered Wes from under David, who then released him from his arm-lock. "Yes Blaine, relax!" said David, standing up from the floor to switch the X-Box off.

"That's what I'm trying to do, but with you two acting like fucking dumb-asses, it's really,_ really_, tough. Sometimes I think that your brain's age is like 8 years old guys!" - yelled back Blaine, and then he took a long deep breath to calm himself, his temples were pulsing and he felt like his eyes were going to explode.

"Well, sorry, we are guys, we are teenagers, we like to have fun, you know, like, to_ live_" - said Wes, with a harsh annoying tone - "maybe you should try it too! Sorry for our behaviour Mr., we're leaving now. Happy?" added David then with the same tone, looking at Blaine with a fake smirk, and making his way out the room with Wes.

"_Thank God"_ thought Blaine, looking up. Then he shut his eyes and rubbed his temples, walking towards his bed to finally lay down in silence. "Another headache, perfect", he murmured to himself. That was nothing new to him, indeed, he was used to it; he had had headaches _every fucking day_ for more almost 3 weeks, and now he was practically aspirin-addicted. One day he had such a strong one that he had to leave the classroom and go to the school's nurse, who prescribed a painkiller and sent him to bed, signing his justification. He didn't want to skip his classes but he had to do it, because he couldn't handle the headache anymore.

Blaine Anderson had never been the weak one, but his body, his _brain _was literally killing him. He tried to fight it, he tried to distract, to push his thoughts away, but he had never won them. How long could he resist that way? He did feel better, both physically and psychologically, even when we had been bullied in his old school, 'cause at the time he had to struggle with somebody else.. now he had to struggle with himself, and it wasn't easy.. _at all_.

He hated himself, he hated the person that he had managed to be. He hated the fact that he didn't even know how he became that type of person: always closed in himself and on the edge of freaking out, and most of all angry, so fucking angry with whoever, especially with the ones who cared about him and tried to help him. He had always been the dapper and gentle one. Now he was just the rude asshole. _Blaine Anderson was an asshole_, and he couldn't blame it on the others, he couldn't blame it on.. _him_. He could just blame it on himself. He had ruined everything, no actually he screwed everything up, and then he had lost the only thing that brightened up his life. He had lost the only thing that really.. _really _mattered in his averaged life. He had lost his own personal paradise hidden behind those blue eyes. He had lost that shiny little smile. He had lost his best friend and most of all, he had lost the first person who actually understood him and _truly loved him_ for who he was.

He had lost Kurt Hummel.

* * *

So.. is it worth continuing this? Rewies will be loved. _Michelle._


	2. Hurt

A/N: So, I received even more than I was expecting for, I had two reviews and something like.. six alerts(?). Then I saw the traffic statistics, I saw something like 200 fucking visitors, and I was like: "Y U NOT REVIEW?" but well, who cares. I love whoever read or just open my fanfic :3 This chapter is short but really.. filled with emotions, at least in my opinion. Hope you'll like it. I know that maybe my Kurt is too dramatic but, as I've already said, I love angst! **STRONG THEMES AND SCENES AHEAD.** Don't tell me that I didn't warn you! Ok, that's enough.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Two: Hurt.**

_Stop. _Kurt couldn't take it anymore. How could memories hurt so much, was it even possible? It happened three weeks, one day, two hours, sixteen minutes ago, and still he could remember it as if it was yesterday. He wasn't crying, he had had enough of it; actually he cried so much in those weeks that he thought he had run out of tears, so, like when people decide to quit smoking, Kurt had decided to_ quit crying._ Unfortunately he couldn't stop suffering. His heart was broken, and so was he.

His face was still cold, as expressionless as a blank canvas. When he had decided to stop crying, he had also decided to stop showing his emotions, he simply thought it would have been easier to hide them inside, and pretend he was alright. Kurt shifted his chair and moved his eyes down at his desk drawers, opened the first drawer and absentmindedly took his nail-scissors out, looking at the little, shiny, iron blades. He stared at them for a few minutes, not really thinking about cutting his already perfect nails. _Not really thinking at all. _

He just opened them slowly, and almost unconsciously wrapped his palm around one of the sharp blades and tightened the grip. "Ahh, ouch" - he gasped, astonished by the sudden twinge. That pain was _different_. He wasn't used to the physical ache. As he was adapting himself to the feeling it slowly became weaker.. but he didn't want it to disappear, so he just tightened his palm more, letting the thin tip of one blade penetrate his soft skin. "Oh God" - he squealed, shutting his eyes and biting his lower lip to not scream in pain. He let the tip inside for a while, breathing deeply and enjoying every second of that strong, painful feeling. It was a long time since he actually felt.. _something_, something that wasn't heartache. He kept holding the blade against his palm, and after a few minutes he stretched his hand and slowly opened his eyes, which suddenly widened themselves. "_Wow_" - he thought. His jaw dropped at the sight of dark red blood coming out from his palm and flowing on his porcelain thin wrist. "Oh, such a beautiful contrast" he thought, ducking his head and grinning slightly. His first real _smile_, or whatever it was, after all that Blaine mess. He wondered why he was smiling.. because of the blood? "That would be creepy", Kurt thought, chuckling softly.

He looked at the blood again._. and he understood. _He was smiling because he felt nothing but physical pain, he felt nothing but the blood running down his wrist, he felt nothing aching in his brain.. in his _heart_. He was numb to heartache, for the first time in such a long time he wasn't suffering for_ Blaine_. He felt a huge smile widening on his face and.. laughed. He was upset and confused he had to let all his messy emotions free. He put his head in his good hand, the one that wasn't bleeding, and cried. He couldn't believe he was crying again but he didn't care. He was crying because he felt relieved, his chest was lighter now._ He had found his cure. _Now he knew how to distract himself from the hurtful thoughts of Blaine Anderson.. and consequently the thoughts of how broken his heart was. But before he could even realize it, he was already thinking about a day, one of their first days as _boyfriends_, when they started making out in his room and Blaine pushed him against the wall, kissing and sucking on his neck, leaving him a hickey that he had to cover all the week with scarves and turtlenecks.

_"Babe I'm so sorry about it" whined Blaine pitiful. _

_"Why? I'm actually very glad", whispered Kurt in a malicious voice, looking at Blaine's sudden grin. "What are you thinking about? I'm happy 'cause now I can wear scarves every moment!"_

If he was happy he would have laughed at the memory.. but well, he was not, so actually it was like a punch in the stomach for him and he couldn't help himself by suddenly open the scissor and wrap his palm around the blades strongly, this time letting both tips of them sink into his palm and letting out a sharp breath for the pain that he was suffering. "Fuck!" shouted Kurt, throwing the scissor against the wall. He was bleeding, so when he moved his hand blood splattered on the desk and on his Dalton's blazer. He pushed his head in his hands, this time not giving a damn about his hair or whatever. Blood ran down his left cheek, reaching the corner of Kurt's mouth. He felt the cold drop of blood and licked it away. It was bitter-sweet. "I'm insane" he thought, sure that even the most passionate emo-kid would have found this scene disgusting.

"_So I bet you're happy now, Blaine Anderson._ _You turned me into a fucking self harmer_".

* * *

Blaine had fell asleep after a while. Actually he was so tired he couldn't help but do it, and he had thought that sleeping would have helped him to kick away his thoughts from his aching head. Well, he was _wrong. _Subconscious is a motherfucking bastard, isn't it?

"_Hy darling, what are you doing?" asked Blaine, coming into Kurt's room._

"_Hey babe, uhm, nothing really interesting. Unless you don't think that chemistry is interesting." answered Kurt, turning his desk chair so that he could see his boyfriend. Oh God that word still sounded so weird to him._

_Blaine smiled at Kurt, at his beautiful Kurt. At his beautiful boyfriend Kurt. He could have stay like this for hours, just staring in those blue eyes, and that dumb smile on his face would've never left his face. He leaned in to kiss his boy, who now was looking at him with wide eyes and lips slightly opened.. just like the first time that they've kissed. Blaine smiled, he was so near to Kurt's lip that he could feel his breath on his mouth: it was hot, and heavy, Kurt__ was literally hyperventilating. He looked in the other boy's eyes deeply, fondly, and then he softly cupped Kurt's face. "Hey you, tease, would you please kiss me?" - said Kurt breathless, and now he was smiling sheepishly, fluttering his long eyelashes. "Anything you want, Sir"- whispered Blaine, and finally he locked their lips together. _

_A little sigh of happiness and relief escaped Kurt's mouth at the touch, and Blaine smiled. At first he __kissed his boy gently, he __did not want to push too hard on those very soft lips, which were moving in a perfect pace with Blaine ones. Kurt put his arms around Blaine's waist and __stood up from his chair. Now they were standing up, holding each other tightly. Kurt pulled back a second to stare at Blaine eyes, and then to his lips, as if he wanted the permission to go on. Blaine smiled at him and Kurt melted in his arms, and then, in Blaine's surprise, he kissed him hungrily. He pressed his lips on Blaine ones almost desperately, and he returned the kiss with the same energy. "Damn this is hot" - Blaine thought, as soon as Kurt teased him, parting his lips and licking his lower lip. It was too much. Blaine opened his mouth and welcomed Kurt's tongue more than willing. Their tongues twisted quickly, while Blaine's hands reached Kurt's back and pushed the taller boy even closer to his body. He couldn't resist, he wanted Kurt stuck on him. Kurt moaned a little and put his right hand on Blaine's neck, the other one still around his waist, to shift the other boy's head, so that he could have a better angle to kiss him deeper. Was the room getting hotter, or were Kurt and Blaine? They both were completely taken by the kiss, the heat, the breaths, the touches, their teenage-hormones were screaming. Blaine pulled away._

"_God Kurt" he murmured breathless "aren't we going too.. fast?"_

"_It's just a kiss, love." answered quickly Kurt, and then he returned to kiss him - "a fucking awesome one, yeah" - and he kissed him again - "actually our first french-kiss, don't ruin it" - kiss._

"_Ok, but if you think we're going too far, then punch me" said Blaine, smiling and narrowing his eyes._

"_Uh-uh". And then Kurt started nipping his lower lip, making Blaine gasp - "Oh Gaga, did I hurt you?" - asked Kurt, pulling back with wide and concerned eyes, - "I'm sorry Blaine, I was j-jus-" he was interrupted by Blaine's lips. "I just loved that"- grinned Blaine. Kurt smiled __maliciously and looked at Blaine's naked neck. _

"_Oh, __then I think you'll like this". Kurt started kissing Blaine's neck, nipping every inch of it softly, and then roughly. Blaine was going insane, he tried to hold back the groans of pleasure. He never thought that Kurt could be so passioned and lustful.. and dammit, if he liked it. His erection was so hard that it hurt. He was so close to Kurt that he could also feel Kurt's own erection pressed against his leg. That was too much to handle. He took Kurt's head back to his, and kissed his lips while he turned themselves around and moved slowly towards the wall, and there they were, Kurt's back pressed against the wall, Blaine pressed against Kurt, playing with his tongue in his mouth. He pulled his head away and started kissing Kurt's jaw, down to his perfect porcelain neck, and gently sucked on it, apparently he touched the right spot 'cause Kurt moaned loudly, his voice an octave higher, and that says a lot considering his normal shrill voice. Blaine chuckled and his breath sent a shiver down Kurt's spine. "Blaine I-I.." - Kurt tried to say something through his heavy breaths and moans, - "even though I hate to say what I'm going to say, I think we should stop". Blaine pouted to his boyfriend, with his most convincing puppy-dog-eyes. "No way" - murmured Kurt raising an eyebrow and grinning. "As I said when we started making out: anything you want, Sir" - said Blaine, smiling at his boyfriend and kissing him chastely. The taller boy smiled at him, and looking in his eyes Blaine felt butterflies._

When Blaine suddenly woke up from his dream he found himself all sweaty and breathing hardly. _What the hell?_

It was the first time he dreamed of Kurt or of their relationship since they broke up, and it was _upsetting: _it was hurtful but also splendid. Blaine couldn't think clearly now but he could hear his heart pounding strongly in his chest and he knew it was beating because of Kurt's memory. He.. he just missed any little thing about him. He missed his voice, yeah he could still hear him in the Warblers but that wasn't his real voice. He missed his smile, he never saw him smiling after the broke up. He missed his eyes, Kurt did not allow Blaine to look into his eyes anymore, he just avoided eye contact like the plague. He missed his soft skin. He missed his blushes. He missed Kurt. The _real_ Kurt. _But apparently the real Kurt had disappeared when he broke his heart._

* * *

_Well, review, tell me what you think, suggest me of how I should develop the story, insult me. Anything you want.  
Love, Michelle.  
_


	3. Considerations

A/N: Okay, I know this is pointless, useless, nonsense and even shorter than the others. It just sucks. But you have no idea of HOW MUCH I have to study in this days. Music exams (I'm going to sing "Fix You" in honor of this, ahha), 3 interrogations and a History test. Has anyone ever died from too much study? Dunno. Well try to enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Three: Considerations.**

"This is one of the worst rehearsals of all time", shouted Wes throwing his arms in the air and breaking the Warblers formation - "How the hell are we supposed to go on in this way?"

"Oh Jesus, here we are again" murmured Blaine rolling his eyes.

"Hey it wasn't that bad Wes, we just.. missed some steps", complained Trent from one of the back rows.

"You mean, _someone _missed his steps" pointed David, staring frustrated at Kurt, who was absently checking his nails, not listening to the argument between the other Warblers, who were also staring at him now, frowning. "Earth calls Kurt Hummel?" yelled David gesticulating to get noticed by the other boy.

"W-what?" said Kurt with deer-in-the-headlights-eyes, as if someone had suddenly woken him up from a dream. He understood that something was wrong, and considering the stares that most of the Warblers were giving him, probably it was his fault. "What's going on? Did, did I do something wrong?" asked Kurt confused.

"Kurt you missed all the steps in the chorus, and now you weren't even listening to us, what's the matter with you?" asked Jeff concerned. It wasn't the first time that Kurt looked completely on another planet during the rehearsals, but apparently that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Oh nothing I-I just.. got distracted, I'm sorry. It will never happen again guys, I promise", said Kurt blushing and looking at his feet. For once in his life he hated to be in the centre of attention, especially because he knew that _Blaine _was looking at him, probably thinking about how stupid and uncoordinated his _ex_-boyfriend was.

"We sincerely hope so, Kurt. Well that's enough for today guys, you can leave" exclaimed Wes, clapping his hands, and everyone managed to pick up their stuff and leave the room, except for Kurt who stayed still were he was, with eyes closed. Blaine looked at him from the opposite side of the room. He knew he could not afford to watch Kurt, he knew that the younger boy would have felt uncomfortable and would have avoided his eyes, he had done it for three weeks. But now Kurt wasn't watching, so Blaine stared at him and.. analyzed him.

Blaine could surely affirm that Kurt had lost weight, because his Dalton's uniform didn't fit him good as it usually did before. His face looked worryingly thin and pale, his cheeks were sunken and he had those livid circles around his eyes. The old Kurt Hummel would have never let stuff like that happen, he would have stayed for hours in front of the mirror to cover every sign of them. Blaine felt a twinge in his heart: he was the cause of all this._ How could I let this happen to him?_

* * *

"That guy is driving me crazy" sighed David rubbing his temple. He, Wes and Jeff were walking towards their dorm rooms after the disastrous rehearsal.

"I don't know what to do, I also offered him to sing a solo but he denied it. Kurt Hummel denied a fucking solo, do you understand the gravity of the situation guys?" exclaimed Wes looking at his friends with wide eyes.

"I know Wes but you should perfectly understand that in his situation Kurt would rather die than perform a solo in front of other people, because he'd have to expose himself and his feelings and.. he just don't want to do that in front of well you know.. Blaine" said Jeff resigned.

"We can't go on this way though, with our countertenor lost in his mind during the exhibitions and our lead singer not giving a damn about his group" snorted David.

"You know that's not true. Blaine really cares about us, it's just that he can't do nothing about Kurt" pointed Jeff.

"Who says that he can't? I'd say that he doesn't want to", sighed Wes - "and we're powerless, even though we are their best friends, we can't do a fucking thing to get them back together or just friends".

"It's hopeless. Kurt will never let Blaine approach him, he will never trust him again, even though he still loves him.. God if he does" whispered Jeff to his friends, who was looking at him frowning.

"How can you be that sure that he still loves him?" asked David.

"Oh come on guys, love can't be erased that easy. And..", Jeff stopped for a few seconds and took a deep breath - "He had had nightmares every night for two weeks, he woke up in the middle of the night and started to cry. I had to console him so many times I've lost the count. Not that I didn't want to, but it was hard. Now he had stopped crying, I don't know if he still has nightmares, 'cause he rarely talks to me. He simply.. does _nothing_. He's absent, you see him but you don't feel like he's there. It's terrible, I-I just miss _our old Kurt_" sighed Jeff sadly. David nodded and put their hands on Jeff's shoulders. "I know man, I miss him too. Everybody does", he smiled slightly.

"Sometimes I'd like to kill Blaine for what he did, but I'm sure he didn't meant to break Kurt's heart. Well, what's done it's done" said Wes. They walked in silence for a while.

"COD?" asked David hopeful. "Hell yes, you have to give me a rematch!" exclaimed Wes pointing at his taller friend. - "Hey I wanna play too! Let's go." whined Jeff, and the three friends went to Wes and Blaine's dorm.

Fortunately Blaine wasn't there.

* * *

The next one will be better, I promise. Reviews will be loved.


	4. Talking

A/N: Here I am, sorry for the delay but I had the tests and exams in this days. Everything went good luckily :3  
I had new reviews and followers, I love you guys! I really hope you'll like this chapter, I think it's better than the last one. Still no big changes but they'll come soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Four: Talking.**

Blaine was still looking at Kurt, he just couldn't stop. After a few moments Kurt moved from the spot where he was standing to pick up his messenger bag from the couch, perhaps he had seen that he was looking at him. Blaine didn't want him to leave like this, without a word, he wanted to _talk _to him, to reassure him a little for what happened with Wes and the others. They had never really talked again after the break up, _never_. The only time he had heard Kurt's voice was something like ten days ago, during a Warblers rehearsal, when the taller guy accidentally stamped over one of Blaine's feet during a choreography.

"Sorry" he whispered in a hurry, red in the face and looking at him for an instant, eyes filled with fear.

"_Why are you afraid of me Kurt?_" Blaine thought, looking at him open-mouthed and trying to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth, and Kurt had already walked away.

"That's ridiculous, we've been best friends, we've been boyfriends and also lovers. Yeah, we are not like that anymore but why should we not speak to each other? I mean, I know I broke his heart but I still care about him and surely he still does it too, maybe he still lov-" Blaine shrugged his inconstant thoughts away and took a deep breath: "_Courage"._

* * *

"_Why are you looking at me Blaine? Leave, please, please, please." _thought Kurt, picking up his bag as fast as he could. He realized that the guy was looking at him a little to intensively and now he just wanted to run away from that room and especially from Blaine's hypnotic eyes before they could trap him. Kurt was already nervous and embarrassed for the rehearsals, and now Blaine was there, staring at him for no reasons. He felt his heart pounding fast in his chest and the blood started colouring his cheeks. "_Dammit_", he thought. He had just finished picking up his stuff from the couch and now he could finally leave. But when he turned around towards the door..

"_Kurt_".

Kurt's jaw dropped and his eyes got wider, looking at nothing, 'cause his sight fogged. Every muscle of his body collapsed, his arms fell to his sides and his right hand opened, slowly letting the bag fall on the floor. It was _his_ voice. It was Blaine calling his name, trying to talk to him after weeks of silence. Kurt never thought it could be so beautiful to hear his voice again, he just thought it would be painful, like the memory of his voice was. But now it was merely beautiful, even if the pain would have surely come after. Blaine had whispered his name sweetly but firmly at the same time, as he used to do sometimes when they were boyfriends. It was like an angel calling his name; "Ew, I reached another level of ridiculousness with this" he thought, shrugging the thought of Blaine-angel. What shall he do? Shall he turn around and face Blaine, or shall he run away, as he always did? He sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on not looking at the shorter boy's ones.

"Kurt, y-you don't need to look at me if you don't want to. I, I just wanted to know if you're okay". Blaine's voice was trembling, apparently he was as nervous as Kurt was. As he heard the words coming out from his ex boyfriend's mouth he could just think: "_Oh, so now you care?_" Blaine wanted to know if he was alright? Ho-how the hell could he _dare_ to ask this question? Was it a joke? Kurt decided to keep his bitterness and disbelief inside of him. He took a deep breath and turned around to face his heart-breaker's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm fine" he said, faking a smile. He couldn't help but stutter a little, looking in Blaine's fucking eyes after that incredibly long time was distracting him and making his heart pound so strongly that it almost hurt.

"Oh well, okay I.. so I guess" Blaine frowned, searching for words. He looked around and licked his dry lips. That gesture made Kurt's heart pound even more. He know Blaine was just nervous, he didn't mean to look sexy, but licking his lips, _no_, that was not fair. Not in front of his still-in-love-ex-boyfriend. "Nothing, I-I just wanted you to know that, uhm, it's all okay. I, I mean with Warblers you know, forgive Wes, you know him". He looked in Kurt's eyes and smiled a little. Blaine saw that Kurt's blue eyes were shiny now, 'cause tears were filling them.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I-I-hav-I have to leave, excuse me Blaine". And said that, Kurt picked up his bag and walked away quickly. Blaine stood there, upset. He just talked to Kurt. And Kurt left, on the edge of crying.

"Oh freaking God, why did I do it?" murmured Blaine, pushing his head in his head, rubbing his eyes and temples. It looked like another headache was starting to develop. He couldn't stop thinking about Kurt's astonished expression when he called his name, and his eyes holding back tears as he left the room. Talking to him, Blaine just wanted to comfort him but instead he hurt him even more. He had not thought that Kurt probably just didn't want to hear anything from him, he hadn't thought of how much uncomfortable the other boy could have felt.

"_I've been so selfish", _he thought.

* * *

"_Okay Kurt, you're overreacting. Calm down, hell, he just wanted to reassure you he just wanted to be nice it did not mean anything else, he didn't want to hurt you or to ask intrinsically forgiveness, he just wanted to be nice. He's Blaine-dapper-Anderson, did you forget? You're so pathetic instead, running away like this, crying like a baby"_. Kurt's thoughts ran through his brain too quickly to be constant or meaningful. Yes, he was definitely overreacting, but holy shit Blaine had just talked to him, after more than three weeks, he talked to him. He had been so nice, he, he, why the hell had Blaine be nice? He broke up with Kurt, he should be hating him or whatever the ex boyfriend's do. Kurt would have loved to hate Blaine, but he just couldn't. He could have never hate him. He thought that when you love someone so much and then everything ends, you just can't erase all the happy moments you spent with that person. Even if eventually he shattered your heart, you will always remember that person as the one who made you feel butterflies in the stomach. Happy memories will always live in your heart, but you'll try to suppress them and remember only the bad things that he did to you, you'll try to hate him. That was what Kurt was trying to do, but it wasn't easy. Both the happy and bad memories were hurtful for him. After a few minutes he reached his dorm room, Jeff wasn't in there, probably he was with Wes and David. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves. He put his bag on the desk chair and took his Dalton's blazer off, and then he lied on his bed, closing his eyes and trying to fall into oblivion.

* * *

"_Kurt, please, look at me". Blaine whispered sweetly, trying to convince his boyfriend. He just couldn't believe that they were fighting for something so stupid. He understood that Kurt wouldn't have looked at him, and so he sighed and impatiently took the taller boy's face in his hand and forced him to look in his eyes. Kurt was looking at him with wide eyes and breathing quickly, he looked angry._

"_What, what do you want Blaine?" he asked bitchy._

"_Kurt, stop it. I can't even understand what's the matter!" exclaimed Blaine._

"_You don't understand?" asked Kurt pushing Blaine's hands away from his face, his voice an octave higher, -"You lied to me, you said you have never been somebody's boyfriend and now you tell me that you had actually dated something like three guys and went beyond kisses with one of them? This is the matter Blaine!" yelled him. Fortunately they were alone, or anyone in Dalton would have heard him, well maybe someone next to Blaine's room did. Kurt took a deep breath and stared in Blaine's eyes. "I thought you would've never lie to me"._

"_I did not lie to you! Kurt we weren't even together when I said that, and however that was true: I've never been someone's boyfriend. Yes I dated some guy but that didn't mean that we were boyfriends! Those boys meant nothing to me, and yes I went further with one of them, but if this is what interests you, I didn't have sex with him. We did something else, and now I regret of that. I was younger and curious, a true teenage-guy case. You can't be mad at me for what I did in the past, because what I did meant nothing" said Blaine. He looked in Kurt's suspicious eyes and sighed. He stepped forward and took one of Kurt's hand in his ones, putting them on his chest._

"_You know what really means to me, Kurt? You. You're completely different from all the other guys, they were nothing. Instead, you are everything to me Kurt Hummel". Blaine looked at him_ _intensively,__ hoping that the other guy could understand how true his words were. Kurt stared at him open-mouthed in silence for a while._

"_You really mean it, Blaine?" he whispered, smiling slightly while a tear of happiness fell on his porcelain-cheek._

"_Of course I do Kurt" said Blaine, dropping Kurt's hand and cupping his boyfriend's face, -"I would never say something like that if I didn't really mean it. You're so important to me, Kurt, that you can't even imagine it". Blaine kissed the tear that was running down Kurt's face and smiled fondly to him. The other boy trembled at the touch of Blaine's lips on his skin, and smiled back to the beautiful boy in front of him, then he suddenly put his arms around the shorter boy's shoulders, hugging him so strongly that they both couldn't breathe._

"_How do you manage to be so perfect?" Kurt said, with his head ducked between Blaine's neck and collarbone._

"_Oh, don't be silly, love. I'm not perfect" said Blaine, caressing Kurt's hair and inhaling his intoxicating scent._

"_Well, you are to me", whispered Kurt, pulling back from the hug, but with his arms still around Blaine's neck, holding him close, - "oh, and yes, you're forgiven, in case you had any doubt. Sorry, for that, I've been stupid. I guess I've been.. a little jealous", said Kurt biting his lower lip. _

"_A little?" asked Blaine sarcastically, raising an eyebrow._

"_Alright, I've been really fucking jealous. And so? You're mine Blaine Anderson. My own property, and I swear I'll kill anyone who will try to take you away from me" said Kurt smiling, but completely serious. _

"_Hey, I'm not going anywhere" whispered Blaine smiling, and finally he put an end at the fight kissing his boyfriend._

_

* * *

_

"Guess what Blaine? You did instead", thought Kurt. When everything became too hurtful he stood up quickly and walked towards the bathroom searching for something which would have helped him, he had to find something that would've potentially hurt him. He looked around the bathroom, but he couldn't find nothing in his side so he walked towards Jeff's closet and opened the drawers furiously, looking for a razor. Kurt used the electric shaver so he did not have one. He messed up with the drawers content for a few minutes until he finally found a razor. He smiled and cheered, jumping for the happiness. Then he thought of where he could "_shave_" himself. He opted for his arm, he didn't know why, he just thought that there he could have easily cover the scars. He took off his shirt and looked at his white immaculate skin, then at the blades of the razor, and finally, after a few seconds, he tilted the razor and pushed it against his skin. It was hard to find the right angle so that the blade could actually cut, instead of shave, but he finally found it and the pleasure of pain spreading in his brain made him shiver and groan.

* * *

Sorry for the mistakes. Hope you'll like it, maybe I'm pushing too far with the drama. Well tell me!


	5. Falling Down

A/N: First of all, thanks for your support! I have my little fans and supporters and I absolutely love them, but now, I want more. 'Cause this chapter is probably the most important in all the story, this explains the facts and changes the facts. I'm really excited to post it, I'm actually a bit nervous, I don't want to disappoint your expectations.. I really, really hope you'll like it. It's so tough to write a good fan fictions when there already are lots of good ones, but I'm really, really trying to do my best. Well, stop. I hope you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Five: Falling Down.**

Blaine went back to his room a few minutes after Kurt had left the room. A strong headache was already hurting him, so he walked fast to take some medications as soon as possible. Of course he didn't expect to be alone in his room, and in fact when he reached the room's door he heard the shouts of Wes, David and Jeff obviously playing with the console. He sighed and opened the door, and as he stepped into the room the others briefly looked at him to salute him and came back to the video game. Jeff, who wasn't playing now because they only had two joysticks, looked at him for a little longer, frowning. Blaine returned the look awkwardly, furrowing his triangular-eyebrows.

"What?" he asked to the blond guy sitting on his bed, while he took off his blazer and loosened his tie.

"Blaine, you look a little bit strange, as if you hadn't slept for days" answered Jeff, still frowning. Wes and David meanwhile had paused the video-game to stare at their shorter friend too.

"Hey Jeff is right dude, is there something wrong?" asked Wes concerned, while David nodded to his friend's question, as if it was what he wanted to ask too.

"Well, actually I'm not sleeping very well lately but guys, I'm fine, I'm just having one of my headache" answered Blaine, smiling awkwardly. He knew it wasn't that easy to deceive his friends, in fact they were all looking at him suspiciously. He sighed, defeated, and confessed. "I-I.. I talked to Kurt".

"_You did what?_" they shouted in unison, shocked. Jeff had his jaw literally dropped to the ground, while Wes and David suddenly stood up from the floor, looking at him with wide eyes.

"_Why_ did you talked to him?" started David;

"And w_hat_ did you say to him?" continued Wes;

"Oh God, what did _he_ say?" ended Jeff.

Blaine was upset and stared ad his friends like a scolded child who didn't know what to say. He sat down on his bed, his temples were pulsing fast. His friends sat down too, surrounding him.

"First of all I wanted to reassure him from you being assholes with him during the rehearsal" he said, ducking to Wes and David who opened their mouth to defend themselves, but Blaine stopped them before they could say something, "let me finish. Second, I didn't say something bad, neither good. I told him that I wanted to know if he was okay, and that you'd been a bit rude but you weren't actually angry with him. And third, he said that he was fine and left the room after a few seconds, excusing himself. He had.." - Blaine sighed and put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. He didn't want to remember Kurt's blue eyes filled with tears, again.

"He had what, Blaine?" asked Wes, smoothly rubbing his friend's shoulder. The others smiled at him apprehensively, giving him the courage to go on talking. Blaine looked at them and sighed again.

"He had, he was on the edge of crying, his eyes were shiny, and h-he looked so upset.. _by me_, he looked so scar-" he couldn't finish his sentence because his voice broke. Suddenly he went out of breath and tears escaped the unbreakable barriers of his eyes, as Blaine Anderson exploded in violent sobs. He pushed his knees to his chest and cuddled himself while everything in his mind was falling down and tears were running down his face without control. Jeff, Wes and David were completely upset: Blaine had never cried like this before, he had always controlled himself, even in the toughest moments. They felt so touched by their friend's behaviour that they felt a lump in their throats. The three, without the need to even look at themselves to decide what to do, hugged Blaine and let him take all out. He held tightly to his friends, resting his forehead on Wes's shoulder, who was in front of him, while David and Jeff were sitting to his sides. His cry was desperate and loud, he tried to stop the tears shutting his eyes firmly but the result was just an even more breathless and strong sob. Jeff, Wes and David didn't know how long they stayed like that, they didn't know how long he cried in agony, it could be either minutes or hours. Blaine wasn't used to all those feeling, but for once in his life he did not try to control himself.

"It's all alright Blaine. We're here." whispered softly Jeff to his friend's ear. He couldn't hold back some tears, obviously those were not like Blaine's ones, he simply was the kind of person that cries when sees someone else crying.

"Let all out, we'll be here as long as you want" said Wes, pulling back a little to look in the eyes of the crying boy in front of him. Blaine's wet and swollen eyes looked intensively in his friend ones, and then he looked to Jeff and David's. He smiled a little and started to cry again, he felt so miserable and stupid.

"Thanks. I love you", he murmured, and between the "awws!" everyone hugged him again, tightly.

"We love you too. Or we wouldn't be here, true guys?" said David pulling back and smiling to his friends.

"Of course we do! You're our little Blaine" giggled Jeff, pinching Blaine's lef cheek jokingly. That made the other laugh and Blaine laughed too, pushing Jeff away. After a while he stood up and walked towards the bathroom to recompose himself. He looked in the mirror and shuddered at the sight of his big swollen eyes and his red nose.

"Oh my God, I look terrible!" he shrieked from the bathroom, making his friends laugh out of control. He laughed too, and then sighed. He washed his face with freezing water to revive himself a little. He was truly exhausted, who knew that crying was so tiring? After a minute he came back into the room, his friends were still in their positions, except for Wes who took his desk chair to sit in front of the bed. They smiled at him and so did he, sitting onto his bed and resting his back against the wall. Everyone remained silent for a while, looking around the room. It was not an awkward silence, it was simply silence.

"Blaine" Jeff called his friend's attention. "How are you now?" he asked apprehensively.

"Actually I'm a bit.. shaken. But I feel better now, it was like a relief. I don't know.." he answered, frowning.

"Yes, we understand. Sometimes crying is simply the best thing to do and, in my opinion, you've been holding everything inside for too long, you just had to do let your emotions out" said Wes.

"You can't always be the strong and composed one, Blaine. You're a human too!" added David, smiling to him.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right" joked Blaine rolling his eyes. Then he became serious, as he realized something. He looked at his friends, as if he was searching for some sort of approval to go on. They looked at him, and then at each other, concerned.

"What's up Blaine?" asked Jeff.

"After all of this I really kind of realized my true emotions. I really have to fix this up. I have to fix the situation between me and Kurt. As you have seen before.. I'm not over him. At all. And actually I think, no, _I'm sure_ I'll never be. Because I miss him too much, I can't believe I let him go, I pushed the most beautiful thing that happened to me away" he snorted, beating his head to the wall and looking at the ceiling. "I've done the biggest mistake of my whole life, because of fear. I've been a coward".

"Sorry but yes, _you have_. And even if we all still don't understand _how _you could have done something so stupid, Blaine", exclaimed Wes, "I think that if you really want to fix things up, you'll have to struggle. You know that yeah?" - "I know", Blaine sighed.

"You've broken his heart and most of all you've lost his trust" - "I know", Blaine whined.

"Yes, you lost his trust but Blaine, you didn't lost his_ love._ I'm so fucking sure about it that I could bet a thousand bucks right here, right now. You know I share the room with him and he is still hurted, but that's only because he still loves you. And if you'll _really _fight for it" said Jeff, "then Kurt will let him trust you again."

"_... I know_". And Blaine smiled. "Can I tell you a secret? _I think I'm in love with Kurt Hummel_".

* * *

"_I love you". Kurt whispered those words softly, staring blissfully in Blaine's eyes._

_That was when Blaine's body completely froze, and so did his mind too. Kurt didn't seem to notice the shock in his hazel-green eyes, which had widened themselves a little. Maybe he thought that Blaine was just excited, of course, his three-months boyfriend had just told him that he loved him. It looked so obvious that Kurt loved him, and for Kurt it was obvious that Blaine loved him back. They had spent three beautiful months, how could they not love each other after all that they'd been through? Yes. How could they? Blaine was taking too much time to answer and Kurt was beginning to frown in concern. He stared directly in Blaine's wide eyes and slowly took the hand that was resting on the elder boy's cheek away. He started to feel his breath becoming shorter and the tears pinch his eyes._

"_Y-You don't.." he whispered in shock._

"_Kurt I, I.. Kurt no, it's just that.." Blaine tried to make up a meaningful sentence, but in that case, it was just impossible. Is there a way to say the person in front of you that you don't know if you love him?_

"_You don't love me, Blaine? Is that what you're trying to say?" Kurt whispered __monotonously. The spark that used to bright his eyes when they were looking at Blaine ones had disappeared. There was nothing in those blue eyes of his, they were like fogged, while tears were silently flowing down his eyes. Blaine couldn't believe that was really happening._

"_No, that's not true, I-I just.." he stared in his eyes and cowardly finished his sentence. "I don't know if I love you"._

___Crash. Ting, ting, ting. Kurt asked to himself if Blaine could hear the sound of his heart falling to pieces._  


_"How.. how can you? We've been togheter for three months. We've been friends before, h-how.. can you don't know what your feelings are?" Kurt said emotionless. _

_"I.. I'm confused, I.. don't know what to say. I'm sorry Kurt, this is not how I wanted things to go, please.." he couldn't look in those eyes no more. They weren't his no more.  
_

_Kurt didn't say nothing else. He just stared at him with his lips slightly parted. He could have explode in one of his drama-queen scenes, he could have asked to Blaine if he had pretended to actually care of him in those three months, he could have insult him.. he could have done a lot of thing, but he just stood up from Blaine's bed, feeling extremely vulnerable at the sight of his naked body completely exposed. He dressed himself up slowly, because he felt like he couldn't move. He continued to cry silently, not looking at Blaine, who stood in his bed looking at his boyfriend.. or his ex-boyfriend. That word already hurt him. Kurt didn't look back at him once. He took his bag and walked towards the door. When his porcelain hand reached the door's knob Blaine finally spoke. He had to._

"_Kurt don't tell me that it's over". And Kurt didn't say anything._

* * *

*Zanzanzanzaaaaaaaaaaaan* this is it. So? What do you think about it? Review!_  
_


	6. Secrets

A/N: Short, non-sense chapter. Pardon me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Six: Secrets.**

Later that evening, Jeff was coming back to his dorm room. While he walked along the corridors he kept thinking about what had happened a couple of hours before. Blaine had cried, for the first time in three weeks, and he had realized that he loves Kurt and that he wants him back. That was such an amazing thing that Jeff couldn't help but smile, he was sick of seeing his roommate in those awful conditions. The first two weeks Kurt had been the stereotype of heartbroken: he cried non-stop, he didn't want to eat or to see anyone, he just wanted to be left alone with his sorrow. The last week something has changed.. but not in a good way. Kurt was the closest thing to a zombie that Jeff had ever seen. So now Jeff really hoped that things could quickly change. But while Blaine would fix Kurt up, Jeff had to keep the secret and be silent about Blaine's intention.

"_Jeff of course you won't tell anything to Kurt, huh?" asked Blaine suspiciously._

"_But, how? I mean.. how?" asked Jeff incredulous. _

"_Jeff!" David and Wes yelled to him in unison, and David threw him a cushion. "Just do it!" Wes yelled. Blaine, instead looked at him hopeful. "Please" he whispered, with his puppy-dog-face. Jeff couldn't resist his puppy-dog-face. "I'll try"._

Yes, he would have tried, but that would have been hard. He reached his door and knocked, maybe Kurt was already in there. Nobody answered so he put out his keys and opened the door. He watched inside and at first he thought he was alone, but then he saw a light coming from the bathroom's door. He put his bag down onto his bed and stepped closer to it. The door was locked.

"Kurt, are you there?" he asked, knocking at the door. No answer. He looked around the room and saw Kurt's stuff on his bed. Yes, Kurt was there, so why didn't he answer?

"Kurt, I know you're there, what are you doing?" Jeff thought it was a stupid question, and also an embarrassing one. He was probably doing what people usually do in bathrooms, wasn't he? But Kurt still didn't answer.

"Ok, I'm getting worried now, it's all okay right there? Can you open the door?" Jeff asked in concern.

"Jeff, leave me alone, please", Kurt finally answered from the bathroom.

"Can you please tell me why you want me to leave you alone? What are you doing?". Jeff tried to keep his voice calm, but he was starting to get nervous and angry. What the hell was happening in that bathroom?

"Jeff, I told you to _leave me alone_! Can I have some god damned privacy?" Kurt shouted.

"Of course you can but I'm worried, you're hiding me something, are you okay in there, do you feel sick?"

"I'm fine Jeff, there is nothing that needs you to be worried" Kurt answered, still yelling.

"Then why don't you tell me exactly_ what_ is going on there? Open the fucking door, Kurt!" shouted Jeff. He had lost patience and now he was really worried about Kurt. He stood there for a few minutes, knocking at the door.

"Alright, so you want me to open the door, you want me to tell you what I'm doing-" Jeff heard Kurt starting to walk towards the door quickly, "-you're so worried about me, oh, poor you. Well-" he heard Kurt unlocking the door and Jeff moved away so that he could open it, and Kurt came out: "-here I am. A_re you happy now_?".

* * *

Kurt saw the shock fill Jeff's eyes as he showed himself. His blond roommate gasped loudly and put a hand on his mouth, as if he wanted to hold back a scream, and his eyes got wide, in horror. There was Kurt, in front of him, shirtless, holding something in his hand and opening his arms widely, to show his friend what he was doing in the bathroom. He showed Jeff the blood flowing slowly down his right arm, coming from three little linear incisions.. three as the number of his razor's blade, which Kurt was holding tightly in his lef hand. Kurt was breathing heavily and quickly, anger coming out his blue wide eyes.

"I was cutting myself. Is this what you wanted to hear, is this-", Kurt said, pointing at his bleeding arm, "- what you wanted to see?"

"Kurt, I-" Jeff tried to talk but he was too upset to think rationally.

"You what? You didn't expect to see this? Well guess what, I didn't expect to become a fucking self-harmer!" Kurt screamed, throwing the razor inside the bathroom. He was out of his mind with rage. "I've always been totally _disgusted_ by this sort of things, these bullshits, and now look at me! Look at me and tell me if you recognize Kurt Hummel in this person because I can't see him! I'm not myself anymore Jeff, I'm another person, an awful and hateful person who needs to fucking hurt himself to feel alright!" Kurt screamed so loudly that his lungs ached. He took a few seconds to breathe, while Jeff stood still in front of him. "And you know why I'm doing this?" Kurt whispered, "You know why I_ need_ to do this? Because I need to escape the thoughts of Blaine fucking Anderson and our screwed-up relationship before I go insane, and this is the only thing that works". Kurt's voice broke. He could feel the tears coming out his eyes slowly. "Could I be more miserable than this?" he asked, looking in Jeff's eyes directly. Jeff walked towards him and hugged him softly, letting Kurt rest his head on his shoulder.

"Kurt you have to stop this, please. I beg you." Jeff whispered in his friend's ear. He truly meant it. Watching Kurt, Kurt Hummel, who used to be his joyful and funny friend, in these conditions was really hurtful. He had never thought that Kurt's pain could be so strong to induce him to do something as terrible as self harming.

"I know Jeff, I'll stop, or at least I'll try. I swear" Kurt pulled himself back and smiled faintly to his friend, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. " I'm sorry for the razor.. I haven't found anything else to.. you know".

"Kurt don't be stupid, really. I want to know only one thing: how long have you been doing this?"

"This was the second time. The first time has been three days ago. The palm, remember?" Kurt admitted sheepishly, not looking at Jeff's reaction. At first Jeff wanted to yell at him but he just shook his head in acknowledgement. How couldn't he notice that Kurt was lying at him before, about the palm?

"I'm truly sorry that you had to see this", said Kurt wiping away the tears. His arm had stopped bleeding and now he was walking towards the bathroom to wash everything up. But before he entered the bathroom he turned his head to his friend and looked at him.

"Jeff?" he called the blond boy's attention.

"Yes?"

"Promise me you won't tell this to anyone. Especially to Blaine" Kurt asked, no, that wasn't even a question, that was a statement. Jeff opened his mouth to say something but judging from the stare that Kurt was giving him he couldn't say no. "I promise", he said. And Kurt went back into the bathroom.

* * *

"_So now I have to not tell Kurt that Blaine loves him and to not tell Blaine that Kurt has been cutting himself practically for his fault?" _Jeff thought. He sighed and threw himself onto his bed._ "Slendid._"


	7. Sunday

A/N: I'm really, reeeaally sorry for the delay. I had an awful writer-block. It was horrible. I wanted this chapter to be longer and cooler and yeah more intense but... nope, it's pretty horrible. Sorry, maybe I'm not that good in writing, I didn't even check this before publishing, so.. *sigh*.I tried to put songs in this chapter. It has been fucking difficult. Anyway, I just wanted to thank anybody who supports me and this fanfiction. You are magic. Thanks to anyone who rewies, who add this to Favorite or to Story Alert. Thanks :)

The songs are: **Sunday**, by Hurts . **Microscope**, by Mads Langer. I don't know if these artists are known in America, but in Europe they're pretty famous and I lllllove them.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Seven: Sunday.**

The days of that week had passed quickly, as if the wind had taken them away. It had been a very intense week: for Kurt, who discovered pain and blood on Monday; for Blaine, who had discovered his true feelings on Wednesday; for both of them, who had not found themselves yet on Sunday. Sunday was when they broke up, exactly a month ago. It was a cold day outside, so they decided to spend the day together in Blaine's warm room, watching a Harry Potter movie marathon. Eventually the movies turned out in something completely different. They made love. They didn't even know how, if, or when they had decided to go further in their relationship, they simply did. It was the first time for both of them, and that made the situation even more special. And then they broke up. Not because Blaine didn't love him, but because he was still confused about his feelings, and Kurt could not accept that, not after he had lost his virginity to Blaine. Not after he trusted Blaine so much to think that the older boy would have never hurt him.

Sunday was now. Most of the Dalton students were out of the academy to spend the time with their families or friends, so the school was pretty empty and silent. That was the reason why Kurt loved to stay in Dalton at the weekends, It was peaceful. He usually went back to Lima during the weekends, 'cause he really missed his dad and Carole, and most of all he missed his New Direction's friends. During the weekends with his old friends he felt like he could really be himself, the _true_ one, showing off his crazy outfits and letting his diva-side completely free, things that he couldn't do in Dalton. He said his father that he had to study for a Math test, which was actually true, but that was just one reason. The other one was that he wanted his scars to heal and disappear, before he saw his dad. In his house knocking wasn't the habit, and he could not let his father break into his room and see the signs on his arm while he was changing his clothes. Nope.

Kurt hated himself for what he had done. He hated himself for having shown his best friend Jeff all his vulnerability and madness, days later he was still wondering why he had done it, why he had lost control of his mind in that way. Perhaps he had confessed his self-harming to Jeff because, in his subconscious, Kurt wanted someone to know what he was doing, someone to tell him to stop. His blond friend had hidden all the potentially sharp or hurtful objects in their room, so Kurt couldn't do anything stupid while Jeff was away with his family during the weekend. Kurt felt almost insulted by how Jeff underestimated his intelligence and self control, but he was grateful to his protective friend.

This day was a sad monthiversary for Kurt. He tried not to think about it, he really tried, but maybe staying at Dalton hadn't been a good idea: everything reminded him of Blaine. He could not set foot in the common room without thinking about their first kiss. He could not walk past the Warblers rehearsal's room without thinking of their duets. He could not pass by the main corridor of the dormitory without wondering about Blaine's room and what happened in there .. How did they ended like that? Fate had led Blaine to Kurt, and as it may seem ridiculous, Kurt believed in destiny. So why they were not together anymore? Maybe Kurt was wrong, it was not destiny, it was a dream, an illusion, a _teenage dream, yes_. "Gaga, when did I managed to be so pathetic and depressed?" Kurt murmured to himself, walking casually through the corridors. "Oh, well, maybe a month ago, when the boy you loved deeply told you that he didn't know if he loved you back. Which meant "I'm with you babe but I don't know why, because in three months I've never even thought if I loved you or if you were just a puppet to play with", answered the voice in his head. Now he heard voices? Okay, he was definitely going insane. To shrug the voice off his head he put his headphones on and turned on his iPod, searching for some good music to listen. "No, no, I'm not in mood for musical. No.. mhh maybe.. _Perfect_", he thought, as he scrolled the artists and the songs. He pressed play, and the song started. Kurt closed his eyes and let the music take control of him.

_There are times when we question the things we know_

_Never thought that the cracks will begin to show_

_We both know love is not that easy_

_I wish I'd known that it would be this hard to be alone._

_Please, come home.._

Kurt started to follow the rhythm and to sing along. That song had a strong beat, but the vocals were dark and intense, and everything created a beautiful mix, that was why Kurt liked that band. But most of all he focused on the lyrics, which were merely perfect for the situation. It was like the song was talking about him.

_Loveless nights, they seem so long_

_I know that I'll hold you someday._

_But 'till you come back where you belong_

_It's just another lonely Sunday._

"Yes, it is", he though. It's incredible how music could explain the feelings that he hided inside of him. Then he started to sing again and he also started to dance. Nobody was there, so who cares.

_Is this the end of the love that had just began?_

_I always hope that the best it was yet to come._

_So please, come back, don't you leave me_

_We both so young, I know you need me too._

_And there'll always be times like these._

It was hard to face the truth through a song, but that was happening to Kurt. Wasn't it the reason why he chose that song? He knew that it talked about abandon and loneliness. His subconscious was stronger than he thought.

_Loveless nights, they seem so long_

_I know that I'll hold you someday._

_But till you come back where you belong_

_It's just another lonely Sunday._

_Maybe we'll see that we were wrong_

_If ever we look back one day_

_But till you come back where you'll belong_

_It's just another lonely Sunday._

_Lonely, lonely._

_If you don't come back tomorrow_

_I'll be left here in the cold_

_If you don't come back tomorrow, I'll go_

"He won't come back. And I won't go", he thought, letting the last chorus go along without his voice and stopping his dance. The last line was not telling the truth, for Kurt. "I will never go away. I'll always stay here, waiting. Because I still love you Blaine". He listened absentmindedly to a few other songs, walking down the corridor that lead to the Warblers room. When he walked past the room he noticed a spot of colour in the middle of it. He took off his headphones and heard a low music. Curious, he looked inside the room through the ajar doors. A guy was sitting on a stool, facing the great window of the room, showing only his back to Kurt. He was holding a guitar in his hands, strumming a few chords. Kurt looked more carefully to the person in front of him and froze. That guy was wearing a dark-red sweater that Kurt knew well, 'cause that guy was Blaine Anderson.

* * *

Blaine didn't know why he was there, in the Warbler room. He was alone in there, almost everyone had left the school to spend the weekend out. He didn't want to go home, he never went home for the weekends, 'cause his family was not what people call a "happy" family. He was there because he was sick of his room's walls and the history book. He wanted to escape into the world of music. The song he was going to sing was for a person, but said person wasn't there. Kurt wasn't there. Blaine couldn't find the courage to serenade in front of him, even though he had also practiced with the other Warblers to sing that song on Tuesday's practice. He was a coward, and he perfectly knew that. He stared outside the window, strumming the first chords of the song on his guitar. He imagined that Kurt was there, instead of the big window. He didn't know that Kurt was actually there, looking at him and carefully stepping inside the room. Blaine closed his eyes and sighed. Then he started to sing.

_If you put my heart under a microscope,_

_you're probably gonna wonder_

_why it's in such a critical condition._

_And if it scares you off to look at my horoscope_

_I'm not gonna blame you,_

_I'm not gonna wonder._

Kurt was listening at every single word that was coming out of Blaine's mouth. That song was simple but the lyrics.. did they mean something? Why was Blaine singing this so intensively though he was alone? Well, he thought he was alone. A little part of Kurt's brain couldn't help but thinking that he was singing this for someone.. that Blaine was singing this song for him. "Oh, shut up" Kurt internally said to his brain. He was crazy.

_I am holding on to someone_

_I can't hold no more, mhh._

_Oh, and sadly I've been here before_

_I can't let go, no._

What.. Kurt now was breathless. He couldn't understand. The lyrics. No, that was not possible. Blaine could not be.. hurted. He was the one who screwed up everything.

_I am reaching out for someone_

_I can't reach no more_

_Oh, it feels like my heart is nailed to the floor_

_Oh yeah.. mmh._

Blaine was singing this song as if Kurt was in front of him. He was truly excited. His heart was open, even if nobody was there to see it. He was reflecting all his emotions in the song lyrics: he could not reach Kurt no more, and that was terrible.

Behind him, Kurt was there, standing still and slowly acknowledging the lyrics. He had no doubt now, that song was for him. Then why was Blaine singing that, alone, what was it meant to be?

_I guess I've sacrificed everything for my dreams,_

_and now it's completely out of control_

_things are not at all as they seem._

_But it is hard to navigate in a chaotic mind,_

_it's easier to ask for forgiveness and for permission._

_I am holding on to someone_

_I can't hold no more, mhh._

_Oh, and sadly I've been here before_

_I can't let go, no._

Kurt was totally upset. He was holding a hand on his mouth, looking at Blaine with wide eyes. What was he supposed to think? That song said enough, didn't it? But.. was Blaine really feeling like that? No it was not possible, he didn't love him. He just didn't.

_I am reaching out for someone_

_I can't reach no more!_

_Oh, it feels like my heart is nailed to the floor_

_Oh yeah.._

_If you put my heart under a microscope,_

_you're probably gonna wonder_

_why it's in such a critical condition.._

The song fade out and silence filled the room. The only noise was the sound of Blaine's heavy breath. Kurt was literally holding his breath. What was he going to do now? He could not escape, or Blaine would have heard him. He.. couldn't believe what just happened. He was trying to convince himself that that song was only a song, and the lyrics didn't mean nothing, but he was failing. There was something.. in the way that Blaine sang. Kurt knew him too well. And now? He could not pretend that nothing happened. His heart was pounding quickly, becoming noisy. Blaine as well was breathing deeply, shutting his eyes, apparently not focused on what was happening around him. He didn't thought that singing that song could be so.. emotional. A pair of silent tears wetted his cheeks.

"_Blaine_".


	8. Confessions

A/N: Ok, I've spent the whole evening writing this. Oh my God it's midnight here in Italy and tomorrow it's Monday. Shit. I hope it will be worth it! Thank you all again, whoever alerts, reviews, adds to favorites. I love you. If you like this, review! I want to know if I've done a good job :3  
Songs: **The Scientist**, by Coldplay.

Also, this could be the end of the story, but if you want me to go on, then I will.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**Act Eight: Confessions.**

When Blaine heard that voice his eyes suddenly grew wide and his jaw fell. He knew that voice, he missed that voice calling his name. He could only think of two things: why was Kurt calling him, and most of all.. how long had he been there. Unfortunately he thought he already knew both answers. Kurt had been there long enough to listen to the song, and that's why he was calling him. Blaine was completely unprepared to this, oh shit. He thought if this was what Kurt felt when he had called his name few days before. The feeling was upsetting... but completely beautiful. He stood there still for a few more seconds, enjoying the sound of Kurt's voice echo. Then he wiped quickly the tears that were wetting his cheeks and shifted his body on the stool to turn around and face his beloved ex boyfriend. Kurt was distant, some meters away from him. He was trying to find a position, shifting his weight on his feet continuously, with his right arm crossed on his chest and the left arm on it, so that his hand was covering his mouth, while he nervously bited his nails. He looked adorably clumsy, Blaine thought. When he had turned around, Kurt suddenly looked down at the floor. Blaine smiled, ha was so lovely.

"K-Kurt, hi" he whispered, looking directly at his boy, wait, at his no-longer-boy, and he couldn't help but stutter. His voice was so ridiculous that Blaine wanted to slap himself. He cleared his troath awkwardly, as if the situation wasn't already awkward by itself. Kurt lifted up his eyes to meet Blaine's ones, and it was like an electric shock. Blaine felt like everything stopped for a moment, as their eyes met, and now all he wanted to do was to stand up, run towards Kurt, hold him tight and _kiss him_, kiss him desperately, trying to erase what happened a month ago, and tell him that he loves him, that he loves him more than everything, and he could not live without him anymore. But he couldn't. Not yet. So he looked away, before his heart could take advantage on his brain.

"Hi" Kurt whispered, so quietly that Blaine almost didn't hear him. He kept changing position, now his arms were at his sides and he looked around the room, fluttering his long eyelashes. "_Perfect, what the hell am I supposed to say now? 'Hi Blaine, were you singing that song because you are in love with me?' " _Kurt thought. He tried not to show how nervous he was, and tried to push aside his feelings and his desire to kiss Blaine. But Blaine was there, those lips were there in front of him, slightly parted, those soft, inviting lips. If only they could read each other's mind they would realize that they want the same thing. But love is never that easy.

"Hum, t-that was a.. that was a really nice song" Kurt said, trying to connect his eyes with Blaine's again, and he couldn't hold back a little smile when he met them. He loved the fact that Blaine's eyes changed colour, sometimes they were light green, other times they were of that beautiful hazel-honey shade.. just as now. He could literally sink in those ey-"_No, this it's not the moment, Kurt_" he said to himself.

"Oh, oh yes it's just.. something I wanted to try in these days", Blaine said, gently putting down his guitar and rubbing the back of his head. He did not gel his hair that morning so his curls were free, and he felt ugly... although he knew that Kurt loved them. "Thank you" Blaine said, smiling softly, and Kurt mentally melted at the sight of his smile. "S-So you heard that?" he added sheepishly, and even though he wanted it to be a statement it came out as a question. "_Of course he did, you moron_" he thought.

"Yes, I did" Kurt answered, "You were beautiful" he whispered and suddenly Kurt realized what he had just said and his face turned red in shame, while Blaine was staring at him with wide eyes, "I-I-I mean y-you sang beautifully, and so yes, y-you were beautiful and" he snorted frustrated, hiding his eyes behind his hand and rubbing them strongly. He wanted to disappear, he wanted to dig a hole in the room and bury him.

"I understand" Blaine said, he chuckled but what came out of his mouth was an awkward breathless sound. "Well, thank you, again". The room was filled with embarrassment now. One of them had to break the tension.

"Blaine.. did-" Kurt sighed. _Courage._ "Did you mean the words that you sang?" Kurt asked, looking directly in Blaine's eyes with his blue, hopeful ones. He had to ask it, no matter what. No matter if he would turn out hurt. Blaine looked at him with lips parted and his triangular eyebrows furrowed, trying to put the words out of his mouth. It took almost a minute for Blaine to do something. He stood up and walked slowly towards Kurt, 'till he was closer to him, but still distant. He knew that Kurt needed that distance, and so did he. He needed that to control his thoughts. Both guys looked at each other for another minute. It was so long since they did it that they just wanted to enjoy it.. just for a minute, they had to hope for a minute that Blaine's answer will turn things right someway. Kurt wanted him to say yes. He wanted to throw himself in his arms, but wait, he couldn't let Blaine win so easily. He could not forget what happened a month ago. Blaine wanted to say yes and throw himself in Kurt's arms, making him forget what happened a month ago. That was a point of no return, wasn't it?

"Kurt, I truly meant every word of it" Blaine said, staring in those blue, deep eyes.

"Oh. So.. you're that.. hurt?" Kurt expected that, but it was different to hear it.

"Yes, I guess" Blaine admitted, looking at his feet. He couldn't believe what was happening. He stood there and thought about something else to say. He didn't meant his confession to be mistaken. He wanted it to be perfect, he had thought about it so much. Then he had an idea. "Kurt?"

"Huh, yes?" Kurt asked frowning. Anything could happen now.

"Can I.. Can I sing you a song?" Blaine asked sheepishly. He felt so stupid right now, and Kurt was looking at him raising his eyebrows, like he really was stupid.

"Of course, hum, yes" Kurt answered, and then he cleared his throat . Again that awkward situation.

"Thank you", Blaine said, then smiled at him and moved towards the piano, gesturing to Kurt to come closer, and so he did, sitting on a couch in front of the piano, and in front of Blaine, who looked at him. He started to play a melody on the piano, Kurt did not recognize it yet, and then Blaine looked back to him. "_Listen closely_".

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,  
You don't know how lovely you are.  
I had to find you, tell you I need you,  
Tell you I set you apart. _

Blaine was looking directly in Kurt's eyes, trying to catch his reactions. He knew that lyrics meant a lot, that was what Blaine wanted to say to Kurt, but he found it much easier singing. Kurt was there on the couch, looking at Blaine with his hand on his mouth, slowly understanding everything that Blaine was singing, understanding what was really going on between them. He let tears fall down his cheeks, and closed his eyes, listening to Blaine's beautiful voice singing those beautiful words.

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,  
Oh, lets go back to the start.  
Running in circles, coming in tails,  
Heads are a science apart. _

"Let's go back to the start", Kurt thought. Could he go back to the start? Could he forgive Blaine? Of course he could. That's what he wanted the most. But Blaine broke his heart after all, so he could not let him fix it so easily. Maybe they could have been friends again, and then who knows.

_Nobody said it was easy,  
It's such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy,  
No one ever said it would be this hard,  
Oh take me back to the start._

Who was he kidding? He could not be Blaine's friend. He could not resist not kissing him, not hugging him, not holding his hand. He could not be his friend, he wanted to be more than friends, he always did. And Blaine, he was telling him that he wanted him back, he was telling him that he was suffering, just as Kurt was. Blaine kept looking at Kurt during the song, though Kurt had his eyes closed. He skipped the second verse and sang directly the third. He tried to put as much emotions as he could.

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,  
Oh and I rush to the start.  
Running in circles, chasing tails,  
And coming back as we are. _

Kurt had opened his eyes quickly as Blaine sand "tell me you love me", and now he was staring in those hazel eyes of his, thinking about how beautiful he is. Thinking that he was the boy that he wanted. Nobody else. No matter what. And Blaine wanted him back. He really wanted. That could only mean one thing: Blaine loved him.

_Nobody said it was easy,  
oh its such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy,  
No-one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm going back to the start._

As the song fade out, Kurt stepped closer to the piano, and never left eye-contact with Blaine. Both had tears coming down their eyes now, looking at each other and smiling slightly. Blaine sang and played the last notes and then everything ended up in silence. This is how Blaine wanted his confession to be. Now it was Kurt's turn.

Blaine stood up from the stool and stepped towards Kurt, who was standing next to the piano. Now they were only few inches apart. Blaine reached for Kurt's hand and softly held it, putting it on his chest, so that Kurt could feel how strongly his heart was beating. Kurt looked carefully at every move of Blaine, and now he could feel his heart pound against his chest. It was beautiful, so intense. He missed this intimacy with Blaine. He missed everything he used to share with Blaine. But.. how could he forgive him so easily? He didn't want to.

"So, let's go back to the start?" asked Blaine, staring in Kurt's eyes, now waiting for an answer. He felt so nervous that he couldn't breath properly. He thought this is how Kurt felt when he told him that he loved him and Blaine said anything, but maybe it was even worse for him. Blaine felt like a bastard now.

"Blaine", Kurt started, "I just can't forgive you that easily" he said, as tears fell down his cheeks. Blaine froze at his words. Kurt stepped even closer and cupped Blaine's face with his hands. "I just can't let you take my heart again. I trusted you once, and you broke my heart", he whispered, crying. Blaine cupped his face and wiped away the tears with his fingertips. Kurt's skin was as smooth as he remembered, he was so thinner though.

"I know Kurt. I know what I did, and I'm so sorry. Kurt, please.." Blaine said.

"Then why did you do that? Why did you broke my heart, Blaine?" Kurt asked, crying breathlessly, leaning his head in Blaine's hand. "I loved you so much, but you didn't" he whispered, to nobody actually.

"Kurt I was confused, okay?" Blaine said, trying to stay calm and control his sobs. He stepped closer and closer, now there was no more space between them, they were looking at each other's eyes and cupping each other's face. "We were together and I was so happy. It was so beautiful being with you, Kurt, that I wanted to enjoy every single moment of it. I didn't want to think, I just wanted to feel, thinking that it was the right thing to do. And then you told me that you loved me" he whispered, "and I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I felt, I knew it was strong.. but was it love? I never felt _true_ love, Kurt. My parents never loved me, my friends loved me, yes, but it's a different kind of love. You were the first person who told me that, sincerely, and I was so upset" he closed his eyes and sob a little, "because I was afraid that I could not understand what love was, that I couldn't love you as much as you did, and I didn't want to hurt you, but I did, I fucking did", he kept crying, and then Blaine leaned his forehead softly against Kurt's. "It took me time to realize how stupid I was. I suffered so much, Kurt. I kept thinking about you, and that's why I had headaches. I thought I had lost the most beautiful thing that happened in my life, for being a coward". He took some time to breathe, as Kurt wiped the tears from his face. It was funny, now it was Kurt's turn to console him, it used to be the opposite.

"You will never lose me Blaine. As long as I'd like to hate you, to disappear from your life, I can't. I'll always be yours, though my heart is broken." Kurt whispered, kissing sofly Blaine's forehead.

"I will never forgive myself for have broken your heart, ever. I have to fix it, I have to _fix you_." Blaine whispered, softly putting his hand upon Kurt's chest, where his heart is. It was beating fast. Blaine smiled.

"I missed you so much, Kurt. Every second of this month sucked without you" said Blaine.

"I missed you too Blaine, you don't know how much I missed you. That's what I felt too. It was so horrible living without you that I can't even explain. I became another person, an awful, pathetic, depressed one. I can't even tell you how miserable I've been", sighed Kurt. He thought that maybe he had to tell Blaine about his self-harming.. but not now.

"Well, you know, I can't live without you anymore, Kurt." said firmly Blaine, pulling away a bit to look directly in Kurt's eyes. It was the time, he had to say it. He practiced the speech in head so many times. He cupped Kurt's cheek in his hand and stared in his blue eyes. Kurt was breathing shortly and heavily, still crying a little, but smiling. "_This isn't really happening, now you'll wake up and you'll go to lessons. Wake up, Kurt!_" he thought.

"I love you Kurt. I'm sorry it took me so much time to realize it. I'm sorry for the precious time that I wasted, while I could have been with you. I'm sorry for the pain that I gave you, as I said early, I will never forgive myself about it, ever. I'm sorry for not having told you I loved you when you did. I've been a coward and I regret it so much now. But I love you, Kurt, I really do, and here I am, begging you for forgiveness, even though it's so much to ask after what I did to you. You mean so much to me Kurt, I've never believed in something so much as I believe in you now. I promise, I swear, I will never hurt you again, God kills me if I do", he chuckled, and Kurt giggled too. "I love you Kurt, I love you so much. I know it's a lot to ask for, but will you please forgive me?" He asked, looking in those blue swollen eyes that he loved so much. He put on his puppy-dog-eyes, and Kurt laughed.

"Oh, Blaine" he sighed, rolling his eyes jokingly , "I thought you would never asked me that" he said, smiling and putting his arm around Blaine's neck to get closer. "Of course I do. I wanted to make you wait, you know, to make you struggle. I wanted you to realize how much you've hurt me, I wanted to keep my dignity. But now.. who cares. I just want you back in my life. I just love you. I've never stopped loving you.. though it hurt. But now here were are, aren't we? It's only _us_. And nothing hurts" Kurt whispered, leaning his forehead on Blaine's, like the shorter boy had done before. Then he looked down at Blaine's eyes and smiled. He truly smiled, feeling all the pain leaving his body, letting love warm his heart again. He shifted his head slightly on the right, and so did Blaine, on the left. They always kissed like that, Blaine on the left and Kurt on the right. They were their angles. One of their little habits that only they knew, and that they loved. They smiled at each other and after a long, horrible, hurtful month of abstinence, finally their lips found each other again. It was the most beautiful kiss they had ever shared, Kurt thought, even better than the first one. Because this was also a fist kiss, this was the kiss of a new start. A new Blaine and Kurt. They kissed softly, enjoying the feeling of their lips touching again. They could feel the sparks, it was a cliché but it was true. Their bodies were touching everywhere, and Blaine held Kurt close, putting his hands on his hips, and deepening the kiss. Kurt let his tongue explore Blaine's mouth, delighted but his flavor. He clenched his fingers through his curls and pulled him closer, then he pulled away to catch some air. He let a last tear flow down his cheek. "I love you so much Blaine Anderson", he whispered. Blaine smiled and kissed him chastely. "I love you too, Kurt Hummel. More than anything. More than ever."


	9. Epilogue

A/N: So this is it, guys. This is the end of the story. It's very short, but I just wanted to write this and say goodbye to my first fanfiction. I will be writing others, I promise. Maybe I'll write about some other pairs_ (like Kurt and Jeff_) who knows. Well, thank you all who read this story, who rewied, who added this to favorite or alerts. I love you! :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

* * *

**Epilogue.**

They found each other again, after a month. They took all the day to kiss the lips that both of them missed. They called their friends to tell them the news, and they yelled through the phone for the excitement, promising a huge party in Wes and Blaine's room as soon as they would come back at Dalton. Everything seemed to be perfect, again, and this time it had to last. Blaine whispered to Kurt "I love you" at least a hundred times, suddenly those three words became the most beautiful ones to say, for Blaine, and to hear, for Kurt. They never left each other, holding hands and hugging all the day. They eventually found themselves in Blaine's room.

Blaine discovered the scars on Kurt's arm, while taking Kurt's clothes away. At first he didn't want to believe what his brain was telling him: "_They're not casual, messy. They're way too linear_".

He asked Kurt, he had to. Kurt stood silent for a few minutes, then he confessed his self-harming. Blaine could not understand, could not believe that his Kurt had done such a horrible thing.. for his fault. Blaine felt like shit, he felt like the worst person in the whole world, for having hurt Kurt so badly. Kurt felt miserable and stupid, regretting what he had done, feeling ashamed. They both cried, holding on each other for dear life.

"Kurt, please" Blaine begged, cupping Kurt's face firmly with his big hands. "Promise me you will never, ever, do this again. Please, Kurt".

"I promise, Blaine. I'm so sorry about it, I was so hurt, I suffered so much, I just didn't know what to do" Kurt said shakily, starting to cry again. Blaine kissed the tears away.

"Shh, baby. It's all okay now. I'm so sorry for what I've done, for what has happened between us. But now I'm here, and I will never hurt you again, I will never leave you again. Because, you know.. I just can't live without you" he said, smiling at his boyfriend, who smiled slightly too, his cheeks turning in a smooth tone of pink.

"I will always be with you, 'cause I will always love you, Kurt Hummel".

He leaned forward to kiss those beloved lips of his. Kurt returned the kiss softly, smiling. They made love, but this time nobody left. Nobody cried, except for happines. Nobody broke nobody's heart.

_It was love, and nothing hurt._

* * *

_T_HE END.


End file.
